I spend a fair amount of time on social media - usually on Facebook. I realize that puts me in the category of “older” users, but I guess that’s because I am, in my fifties, considered “older”. Kinda like when I was told at 39 that I was carrying a “geriatric” pregnancy, I just chuckle now when I come across something that reminds me I am OLD. It doesn’t bother me much, since it has been my privilege to grow older, when so many that I love never got the chance. I just let this wash over my greying coif and through me, grateful that I have the chance to move on with my day.
As a member of both the FTD and the ALS community, many of the stories I read are emotional, heartrending descriptions of loss and grief, and all-too-often a notice of their loved one’s passing. My go-to reaction in each case has become the “Heart” emoji, as opposed to the traditional “Care” emoji. I want the authors of these stories to know I am reaching out with all my LOVE, not just the traditional thoughts and prayers that usually follow such an announcement.
This isn’t because the one is any better than the other, but for me, sending an expression of love is a much more personal expression than sending an expression of care. I want the recipients to know that I am in lock-step with them, pouring what love I can over them in their grief. I want them to know how much I support their expressions of love for their lost loved ones, and want them to know I understand exactly where they are. It’s not so long ago, after all, that I was announcing my own sweet husband’s demise to distant friends.
The “Care” emoji I save for expressions of frustration, like when someone complains of being stuck in an airport for 15 hours waiting on a flight, or when someone’s car breaks down, and now they are going to be late for work. I certainly care that someone is experiencing these frustrations, and want to show my support. But while life can be cruel, and these diseases relentless, LOVE NEVER FAILS, and I want every person who sees my response to know how much I LOVE them, and how much respect I have for their journey. I want them to know they have my support, understanding, and time, with my shared experience going much deeper than “just” Care.
So, if you see me “❤️ing” someone’s grief-laden post, please understand, I am not sending approval for the grief they are expressing, I am merely attempting to convey the love that I hope to surround them with in their time of need. 💞
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